If they find me, it’s over. My body still aches from being on the table for so long. My limbs are weak phantoms, warm and bruised, but otherwise numb to the touch. It feels like I’m wrapped in gauze and plastic. The sterile, metallic scent still lingers in each breath, but I can finally smell the cool air. Everything is different somehow. It’s all familiar but uncanny, as if I’m seeing the world through a new lens. What did they do to me? I don’t even feel like myself. I’ve heard stories about the things that could happen. About examinations and experimentation, but it’s different when you’re the one in the room. How long was I on that table? I need to move. The street is too visible. They could be watching. I don’t know how their technology works. I’ve seen some of it, but only briefly. I don’t know what they’re capable of. I just know that I never want to be on a table like that ever again. Maybe they already know where I am. Maybe they’re already on their way. I’m going to end up getting filleted or probed. I’m dead. I’m already dead. No. The shadow of the trees is enough to keep me hidden, at least for now. The house isn’t far. There are lights ahead. Maybe I’m closer than I thought. But, those aren’t streetlights. They’re moving. Small bright circles dart from tree to tree, it’s them. It has to be. Voices call out in the darkness as I turn to run. I have to make it. I have to make it home. Something takes hold of my arm. No. I’m too weak to fight. There’s a soft whimper, that becomes a deep, wet, guttural sigh of relief as I turn. “Katie!” the woman cries. “Where have you been! Oh my god!” She wraps herself around me, pulling me into her chest. I feel her heartbeat against my cheek as she cries. “I’m sorry, mommy,” I say. “I got lost and–” That’s all she needs to hear. She takes me home and tucks me into bed. She doesn’t suspect a thing. The transformation is nearly complete. Infiltration was a complete success. May my sisters fair as well as I on this momentous day. All hail Zebulon.
Category: Writer’s Log
A Good Night
I am also working on a children’s book right now. I wrote this because I need practice using my new drawing tablet, and I would prefer to learn while being productive rather than simply sketching. This is a very simple peak behind that particular curtain.
Page 1. Playing in sandbox: Crab monsters, sand castles, shovel sword?
The brave Knight had journeyed far and away, across the treacherous desert where the crab beasts played.
With Sir Duck by his side, the Knight loved to have fun battling monstrous creatures.
Of course, the Knight always won.
Page 2. Eating Dinner: Veggie dragon? Spitting broccoli fire? pea monsters… Fighting with fork sword.
He had vanquished foes both large and small, and even defeated the worst of them all.
The Dragonus Broccolus who had the power to breathe,
the greenest, most veggie-filled fire you’ll see.
Page 3. Taking a bath: Rubber Ducky ship? Fighting with a giant hand holding a loofah.
Even when washed out to the dangerous seas, with a handful of giant- sea monstery things,
the Knight and Sir Duck always had a good laugh, because sometimes adventure is just like taking a bath.
Page 4. Brushing Teeth: Using a tooth brush sword to fight a giant, angry, tooth.
There was one last great beast for our heroes to face, so with brush-swords in hand, the Knights took off in chase.
It took only a minute, though it was quite the feat, for the knights to properly take care of the teeth.
Page 5. Comfy Armor: Treasure chest with new armor and stuffed animals
The treasure was theirs, they had earned it at last, and reflected upon the epic day that had passed.
After adventuring with beasts, raging seas, and great fights, it was finally time to turn out the lights.
Page 6. Sleep: Sleeping in bed, smiling, shadowed to look like a knight.
So, with Sir Duck by his side, our hero was tucked in tight, and he smiled as he fell asleep.
Because it was a good night.
A good night
Since investing in a Surface Pro, I’ve been trying to decide what my next art project will be. As far as writing is concerned, I’ve been really enjoying working on the upcoming How To Feed Your Human Podcast, but I need something that will be a long term drawing investment. I will definitely be working on a comic book in the near future, but since I’m still in need of some practice with the new device, I want to do something to hone my skills a little.
Today, I wrote a short children’s book that I plan to illustrate over the next week or so. It should be good practice and once I’m finished I can self publish through Amazon and createspace. The book is called “The Good Night” and was inspired by my first doodle with the Surface Pro (below).
Episode 2: Self Improvment
I finished the first draft of Episode 2 today. Unfortunately, I’m a little behind in my writing due to my laptop screen committing suicide earlier this month, but I was able to fix it and now I am doing what I can to get back on track. This episode was fun to write, but I’m afraid a lot of the humor will come from delivery and as such it might not be a great read. Or, it’s very possible, that I am just a horrible writer. Either way, here is the first draft of Episode 2.
This time, it’s personal.
The script for episode two is coming together. I didn’t intend for it to nosedive into personal issues, but that’s exactly what happened. I felt that I had to get permission from my wife to air a hyperbolic version of our relationship, but she is absolutely fine with it and she loves the script so far. Of course, she would lie to save my feelings.
This series is becoming a little more ambitious but in a practical way, which makes me happy. I am ready to record Episode 1.
Writing Episode 2
It would make the most sense, financially speaking, to write short stories, produce podcast episodes for each story, and simultaneously release them across amazon and such. As I accumulate stories, I could easily bundle them into various packages across kindle, and create a source of perpetual income (assuming anyone would ever buy the stories).
Of course, since my stupid idiot brain refuses to let me do anything that would ever result in profit, I am working on this increasingly ambitious audioplay that I don’t know what to do with. With what to do? Shut up, brain, the grown-ups are talking.
Working on episode 2, I’ve discovered that this project is probably the most personal thing I’ve ever written. The fact that I have no friends, and spend virtually no time communicating with other adult humans is probably a fair indication of what will eventually come of this project, but so it goes.
Second Draft Problems
How to Feed Your Human and Other Important Tips
I’ve decided to share my drafting process with my future self in an attempt to alleviate, postpone, or otherwise thwart the inevitable return of self-doubt. This is the 3rd draft of a podcast pilot that I’m working on. The ending needs work, and I’m sure some of it could be punched up a bit, but for now, this draft is finished. Perfection is the enemy of progress, right?
howtofeedyourhuman.com 